Roseyland

So I’ve blogged about 5 women I might marry here, and 5 attractive women that I do not find attractive here. This post is about 5 women I want to wash dishes with. I don’t want a relationship with these women, I just want to wash dishes. Now this is a PG-13 blog, but I want to be clear about what I mean by washing dishes. I mean, warm, wet, slippery, deep penetrating, in the kitchen sink dish washing. Got it? Good.

5. Avril Lavigne

Avril is the bad girl of this list. She is every bit as hot as Britney Spears, but not nearly as dumb. I even like her music. When “Sk8er Boi” or “Girlfriend” comes on the radio, I don’t change the station, unless somebody else is in the car of course. I love Avril’s confidence and unique style. I also like her compact and rockin body. I imagine that Avril would wear chucks, a t-shirt, tie, and those leather studded forearm things when we wash dishes. That would be hot.

4. Isla Fisher

Isla has all the right curves. Curves are important for dish washing. Really. I love Isla’s face. It’s so friendly. It says, “Hi!, I’m super fun!, let’s wash dishes!”. This picture of Isla is my favorite picture in this post. Isla looks so sweet and innocent, yet you get the feeling you could be washing dishes with her in a heartbeat. If Isla ever comes over to wash dishes with me, I want her to wear that exact outfit.

3. Elisha Cuthbert

You know what my favorite part of a woman’s body is? No, not those, and not that either. A flat, toned, yet not too muscular stomach. Elisha has the perfect stomach. I love the way the definition of her abs directs your attention lower. It feels like you can see more than you really can. She must have spent hours in the gym to get a stomach like that. Which is good, because you have to be in shape to wash dishes. It’s all about elbow grease. Elbow grease and a flat tummy.

2. Yvonne Strahovski

Yvonne is at least 50% of the reason I watch Chuck (okay, 75%). She’s hot and she can kick ass. Kicking ass is also important for washing dishes. It keeps grease, you know… on the run. Yvonne is from Australia. Why are people from other countries always more attractive? I bet they wash dishes better too. I need to find out. Yvonne, please come over, my dishes need you.

1. Hayden Panettiere

First of all, get off my back. Hayden is 19, which makes it totally legal for me to wash dishes with her. I assure you, I had no interest in washing dishes with Hayden until August 21, 2007. Moving on… I don’t know what to say about Hayden, she’s got it all. I never had a thing for cheerleaders in high school, but I do now. Especially cheerleaders that can rapidly heal and and regrow body parts. Dish washing can be dangerous, Hayden’s skills could be useful.

So there you have it, five women that I consider highly dish washable. Like most guys, there aren’t many women I wouldn’t wash dishes with (wearing the appropriate protective gear of course). Do you like washing dishes? If so, all of this could be yours.

I never know how these post are going to come across, and then I spend all this time worrying about it. I hope this isn’t taken too seriously and that it comes across as goofy/funny. Please don’t throw things at me Also, I feel like I need to credit MuthaMae for the use of the term dish washing, which she used in this Tweet.