Roseyland

So I’ve blogged about 5 women I might marry here, and 5 attractive women that I do not find attractive here. This post is about 5 women I want to wash dishes with. I don’t want a relationship with these women, I just want to wash dishes. Now this is a PG-13 blog, but I want to be clear about what I mean by washing dishes. I mean, warm, wet, slippery, deep penetrating, in the kitchen sink dish washing. Got it? Good.

5. Avril Lavigne

Avril is the bad girl of this list. She is every bit as hot as Britney Spears, but not nearly as dumb. I even like her music. When “Sk8er Boi” or “Girlfriend” comes on the radio, I don’t change the station, unless somebody else is in the car of course. I love Avril’s confidence and unique style. I also like her compact and rockin body. I imagine that Avril would wear chucks, a t-shirt, tie, and those leather studded forearm things when we wash dishes. That would be hot.

4. Isla Fisher

Isla has all the right curves. Curves are important for dish washing. Really. I love Isla’s face. It’s so friendly. It says, “Hi!, I’m super fun!, let’s wash dishes!”. This picture of Isla is my favorite picture in this post. Isla looks so sweet and innocent, yet you get the feeling you could be washing dishes with her in a heartbeat. If Isla ever comes over to wash dishes with me, I want her to wear that exact outfit.

3. Elisha Cuthbert

You know what my favorite part of a woman’s body is? No, not those, and not that either. A flat, toned, yet not too muscular stomach. Elisha has the perfect stomach. I love the way the definition of her abs directs your attention lower. It feels like you can see more than you really can. She must have spent hours in the gym to get a stomach like that. Which is good, because you have to be in shape to wash dishes. It’s all about elbow grease. Elbow grease and a flat tummy.

2. Yvonne Strahovski

Yvonne is at least 50% of the reason I watch Chuck (okay, 75%). She’s hot and she can kick ass. Kicking ass is also important for washing dishes. It keeps grease, you know… on the run. Yvonne is from Australia. Why are people from other countries always more attractive? I bet they wash dishes better too. I need to find out. Yvonne, please come over, my dishes need you.

1. Hayden Panettiere

First of all, get off my back. Hayden is 19, which makes it totally legal for me to wash dishes with her. I assure you, I had no interest in washing dishes with Hayden until August 21, 2007. Moving on… I don’t know what to say about Hayden, she’s got it all. I never had a thing for cheerleaders in high school, but I do now. Especially cheerleaders that can rapidly heal and and regrow body parts. Dish washing can be dangerous, Hayden’s skills could be useful.

So there you have it, five women that I consider highly dish washable. Like most guys, there aren’t many women I wouldn’t wash dishes with (wearing the appropriate protective gear of course). Do you like washing dishes? If so, all of this could be yours.

I never know how these post are going to come across, and then I spend all this time worrying about it. I hope this isn’t taken too seriously and that it comes across as goofy/funny. Please don’t throw things at me Also, I feel like I need to credit MuthaMae for the use of the term dish washing, which she used in this Tweet.

A lot of blogger have lists of 100 things about themselves, or 100 things they want to do before they die, or 100 things that fit into some category. This is my list of 100 things. These things don’t have a theme, they are just the first 100 things that popped into my head. Maybe this gives some insight into my subconscious or maybe it’s all random. You decide

1. Cats
2. Dogs
3. Rain
4. Monsoon
5. India
6. Taj Mahal
7. London
8. Big Ben
9. Grizzly Bears
10. Tigers
11. Magicians
12. Las Vegas
13. Southwest Airlines
14. Peanuts
15. Leather
16. Cars
17. Highway 40
18. Bikes
19. Trees
20. Birds
21. Fireplaces
22. Smokestacks
23. Power Plants
24. Submarines
25. Russia
26. Sean Connery
27. James Bond
28. Aston Martin
29. Castles
30. Eiffel Tower
31. Trains
32. Subways
33. Lakes
34. TV
35. Tivo
36. DVDs
37. Movies
38. Popcorn
39. Sugar Daddies
40. Mixer
41. Cupcakes
42. Fiber
43. Protein
44. Carbs
45. Amino Acids
46. Organic Chemistry
47. Calculus
48. Art History
49. Term Papers
50. College
51. Beer
52. Wine
53. Hermann, MO
54. Norton Grapes
55. California
56. Nebraska
57. Corn Huskers
58. Barns
59. Horses
60. Cows
61. Manure
62. Perfume
63. Love
64. Death
65. Democracy
66. Fashion
67. Eddie Bauer
68. Jeans
69. Shoes
70. Belts
71. Arms
72. Legs
73. Toes
74. Rings
75. Books
76. Fantasy
77. Reality
78. Simulations
79. Airplanes
80. Guns
81. Bullets
82. Silver
83. Gold
84. Frankincense
85. Myrrh
86. Jesus
87. Buddha
88. Mohammed
89. Boxing
90. Ultimate Fighting
91. Disney World
92. Tower of Terror
93. Roller Coasters
94. Thunderstorms
95. Tornados
96. Oz
97. Rubies
98. Diamonds
99. Africa
100. Blood

Okay, for the record, I ended on “Blood” because “Africa” and “Diamonds” had me thinking of the movie Blood Diamond with Leonardo DiCaprio. Which is a great movie. You should go watch it. But before you do that, what did you think of my list? Does it reveal anything about me?

Today I am going share with you one of my favorite recipes. Pumpkin cookies. I pretty much love pumpkin anything, but these cookies are the best pumpkin food I know. I’ve heard that pumpkin doesn’t actually have much taste, and that what most people think is pumpkin is really just the spices. Whatever, it still taste good. Here are the ingredients:

• 1 cup butter
• 1 cup dark brown sugar
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 3 cups flour
• 1 15-ounce can pumpkin

Here are the ingredients in graphical form. The wine isn’t an ingredient, I just find that it helps the cooking process go a little smoother. In case you are wondering, the wine is a Chambourcin from the Stone Hill Winery in Hermann, Missouri. I thought the wine was great, but I know nothing about wine. Also, note the new KitchenAid mixer. The mixer is my Christmas present from my Mom and Stepdad. They are coming St. Louis for Thanksgiving, so we are doing Christmas then. They had the mixer sent directly to me, and my Mom told me not to open the package until Thanksgiving. Sure thing Mom.

First step: cream together the butter and sugars. This goes much better if you let the butter soften up first.

This is a picture of the first time I have ever used a mixer. Actually, this is the second time. The first time I didn’t realize that the mixing bowl needed to be locked into place. The mixer was so mad at me that it nearly threw the bowl of butter and sugar across the room, which in turn sent the cat running for his life and knocking over my neatly stacked spices in the process. This is why I drink wine when I cook.

Once the butter and sugar are combined, add the eggs and vanilla extract. Then combine the dry ingredients and add them to the mixture. When you are done, it should look something like this.

Now add the can of pumpkin and let the mixer do its thing. If you wanted to, you could also add some chopped walnuts at this stage. Again, I have deep seated political and religious objections to nuts in my dessert food, so we won’t be adding walnuts today. When you are done, it will look like the picture below. The batter is wetter than most cookie batters, and it is delicious. Of course it does contain raw eggs, but if that scares you away, you shouldn’t be cooking anything.

Drop the batter by the spoonful onto a cookie sheet. Then bake at 350 degrees for 10 to 11 minutes. The cookies below are probably a little too big, but I like big cookies.

The difficult part about baking these cookies is that it is hard to know when they are done. They come out as a soft cookie, which is great, but the whole toothpick test just doesn’t work on them. The toothpick doesn’t come out clean unless the cookies are well over cooked. Do you see the wispy tips on top of the cookie? When those tips just start to turn golden brown, the cookies are done. You can also break one open and see if it looks like a cookie on the inside. Then eat the broken cookie so that nobody knows you broke it.

Be careful with the cookies when you remove them from the cookie sheet. They are soft and smoosh easily. Note the color of the bottom of the cookie below. If it was any darker than this, I would consider the cookie over cooked, and I am the pumpkin cookie professional here.

Here is a picture of the cookies on a plate. I have this new recipe software for organizing my recipes, and you can include a picture with each recipe. It’s so cool. I had to take this picture to put in the program. Now that I look at it, I probably should have used a flash. Oh well.

I like these cookies plain, but you can also frost them with a Maple Butter Cream Frosting. You can download a pdf version of this recipe along with the Maple Butter Cream Frosting recipe here. Did you know a Mac can print pretty much anything to a .pdf file? Nice. Let me know if you make these cookies, they are perfect for Thanksgiving. Oh, and one more thing. Sometimes the tops of these cookies become a little sticky after a day or so. It’s kind of like the cookie part of an ice cream sandwich and the way it can stick to your fingers a little. These cookies can do the same thing. No big deal, I just thought I should mention it.

Flickr : Barack Obama

I told myself that I wasn’t going to blog about politics anymore, but this isn’t about politics, it’s about history. There is so much that I want to say, I don’t even know where to begin. I’m going to do this list style, because if I try and write it all out in paragraphs, it will just be one big stream of consciousness mess.

• Tuesday night was the most amazing night ever. I’m not sure I will ever experience anything like it again. I consider myself a fairly moderate guy, but I don’t like George W. Bush at all. I am embarrassed to have him as my president. I also can’t stand the political style of today’s republican party. The fear mongering, the smear campaigns, the ideological bullshit… I find it all deeply offensive. Barack Obama is the polar opposite of all of the crazy in the last 8 years. To see such an impressive candidate elected, who has eloquence, style, and intellect, and who just happens to be the first black president… It’s overwhelming. Completely and totally overwhelming.
• I took the day off and volunteered to canvass in north St. Louis county on Tuesday to help get out the vote for Obama. I was a little apprehensive about it. I had never volunteered for a political campaign before, and the idea of going door to door didn’t really appeal to me. I knew this election was important though, and I knew that just voting for Obama wasn’t enough. When I heard that north St. Louis county needed volunteers, I decided to give it a shot. It turned out to be a great experience. The neighborhoods I was in were strong Obama neighborhoods. Some people even honked and cheered for me. I don’t know if we really made much of a difference, but it made the day much more meaningful to me, and that was well worth the effort. Also, I walked for nearly 8 hours, and 3 days later, my legs are still a little sore.
• As much as I want to brag about the fact that I took a day off and canvassed for Obama, I am humbled by volunteers like Jaelithe (and countless others) who have been volunteering for months and have given hours and hours of their time to help elect Obama. The entire world owes them a big thank you. Seriously. Thank You.
• Going to the huge Obama rally under the arch and canvassing on election day were great experiences for me. I spend most of my life surrounded by fairly conservative republicans. I went to college in Nebraska and I work in fairly conservative industry. Don’t get me wrong, I love Nebraska and I love my coworkers, but it’s nice to be around other people that, for the most part, see things the way I do. I regret not volunteering more for Obama, maybe in 4 years. All of this has me thinking that I should look for something to volunteer for now. It doesn’t have to be political, but it would be nice if it was related to democratic causes. Any ideas?
• As great as election day was, there were still some disappointments. Missouri is still red, albeit barely red. California passed prop 8. Why can’t we just get over the whole gay thing? 86% of Missouri voted to make english the official language. 86%, seriously? And worst of all, apparently the rest of St. Louis county does not love the MetroLink nearly as much as I do. Whoever voted against the MetroLink funding is hear by forbidden from complaining about gas prices.
• I almost want to apologize for posting something so political. I do tend to be liberal, especially on social issues, but ultimately I believe the optimal solution to any issue is a balance between liberal and conservative principals. My issues with the Republican party are not so much issues with conservatism as they are with the style of conservatism embraced by today’s Republicans. I sincerely hope that one outcome of this election is a better republican party. A few republicans are suggesting that it was a mistake for their party to nominate a moderate like John McCain and that they should have stood stronger behind Sarah Palin. I think this is way off target. If you are a republican, you can be conservative without pandering to the extreme elements of your party, and you can be conservative without resorting to the politics of fear. You can be conservative without being crazy. For the love of our country, please do so.

Okay, enough politics. I have a new empire red KitchenAid mixer! and I’m going to make pumpkin cookies this weekend! and I’m going to blog about it! Are you excited?!? You should be.